African American Vignette #7

     
My son, Eric, was attending a preschool where the majority of the kids were white. About a month after Eric started school I began getting calls from his white teachers complaining they couldn’t get him to cooperate.  We had several meetings, and they wanted to know what was going on at home that was causing him to act out in school.

This went on for several months and then Eric came home saying he wanted to be white.  A few times he even claimed that he knew about some magic pills which turn black people white.  I called a meeting with his teachers and told them that for some reason Eric was uncomfortable being black and wanted to be white, like the majority of the children in the school.  There were several interracial kids, a few Latinos and a couple of other black children, but he definitely was the darkest child there.  I told them I thought this had something to do with his behavior problem.

They listened to my concern for about two minutes and then started to “explain” how it’s perfectly normal for children to daydream they are someone else.  One of the teachers told me that her son used to change who he was every week: a fireman, a football player, then a truck driver. I asked her, “Has your child ever come home wanting to be Black?”  And she was like, “No, but it is kind of the same thing.” I said, “No, it’s not the same, because your son can be a fireman.  My son cannot be white.”

Commentary to African American Vignette #7

     Apparently the white teachers didn’t even want to consider the factor of race or skin color difference when trying to find out the reason for Eric’s behavior problem at school.  When the mother tells them that she thinks skin color is a significant factor they immediately discount her explanation.  One teacher provides what she thinks is an equivalent example - her son wanting to be a fireman, football player, and a truck driver.

This could have been an opportunity for the white teachers to listen and learn about what it’s like to be a member of a racial minority. In this area the black mother is the expert.  The teachers could have asked the mother: “What do you think is happening at school that makes Eric want to be white instead of his own skin color?” and “How do you think that connects with his not being cooperative in the class?”


White folks often tend to downplay the factor of skin color or race in circumstances like these. They don’t have to deal with racism day in and day out as many people of color do. Moreover, white people are frequently uncomfortable discussing or even acknowledging the impact of race in a situation especially in the presence of a person of color. It’s a painful and often confusing area that most of us would like to avoid.

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